I Had a Dream - one of Personal Past and Present Purpose

The following are lyrics from Nana Mouskouri's song "I Have a Dream" and my story below the lyrics are  in keeping with the following personal experience which have several commonalities to these lyrics:

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail  
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me    

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder in a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

****************************

After seven weeks of record-breaking snowfalls and ice storms in the early weeks of 2015 my spirit waned in isolation.  At a low point, I asked my "Higher Being" for a sign that would help me focus and move forward with what I had identified as my life purpose despite the isolation and depression I was experiencing.

My spiritual reach for hope and solution was forthcoming that very night ---- I had a dream of extraordinary energy, validation and magnitude.  I was blessed with total memory recall of the amazing dream-experience in receiving just what I had asked for.  Never had I experienced such enlightenment in my 67 years of life.  I was made aware of the progressive nature in my life path and with such great clarity.  Additionally I had a vision to the future.  All that I have achieved in my past came together with a commonality in a logical timeline and proportion...all of which I had no previous awareness.  The answer
as to how my past is married to my present was with me all the time. I had been blind-sightedness with such short sightedness.  Once I "saw", so vividly, what my life had presented to the present, I was in absolute awe.  Additionally, I came to recognize that my life will continue with purpose until my life is complete .... that completion is nearing however there is a continuum in energy and spirit available until then.....for this I am blessed  and with  great joy.

In hindsight the dream was likened to an artist completing an image on canvas -- one that was 67 years in the making.  A tremendous overview and all in one dimension....a huge picture!!!.  The players and events in my dream were the pigments used by the artist.....colors came together to create a harmonious completed art piece of my entire life which flowed oh so gracefully ....colors came together to create an incomplete art piece so reflective of my personal life experience and all with purpose, with great grace, dignity and humility.  It is wondrous to know that there are incomplete elements awaiting completion as I move to my life's end.

The dream began with myself grasping for my "rights" to participate in life within the concept of  "supported independent living and self-determination". Yes, these are two topics were very accurate pictures of what  I have so passionately debated and valued.  These subjects have played a major part of my advocacy for others in their plight to attain same.

The dream reflected a platform of these two principles and it became evident, while dreaming, that I have been on this bandwagon for as long as 50 years and at many levels.....prior to my own struggles to remain independent.

The first glimpse of this yearning for independency took me back to my very young years when I felt a new confidence when moving beyond the space of my twin.......in our adult lives we both share this life-changing element in our personal growth.  

One event after another, in the dream, escalated the clarity and reality of each segment --- each event was a demonstration of my personal craving and engagement of independency.  The theme of independency carried through even to the recent assignment of a Power of Attorney for Personal Care.

My first memory, in my early adult years, of mindfully exercising independence was in an event when it was imperative that I fly to Los Angeles, California for neurosurgery.  Family members insisted upon financially assisting me however I chose to test the waters of independence and sold my car and other belongings to accommodate expenses of the ordeal.

In that same decade, I boarded a train in Nova Scotia with $80.00 in my pocket with a destination to Kingston, Ontario.  My intent was to  participate in professional post public-school studies.  I had applied for a scholarship that would see me through my studies and despite a positive response to my application,  funds did not arrive in time for my entrance.  I took the risk that it would be soon forthcoming and despite being able to reach out to family, I chose to "go it on my own".   One can only imagine the anxiety that tagged along in my new life endeavor...... in a new province and engaging in studies of passion.  Despite the anxiety and need for financial creativity while waiting for funds for daily living purposes, the experience truly added a new personal confidence in ability and becoming to know myself.....a growth comparable to the intensity when moving beyond the space of my twin and exploring and participating in my own interests.

A few more recent stories entered the dream.....a story of advocacy.  Providing support to the well-being of a disabled individual was an incredible experience of empowerment. A 30 year old women, who, at the age of 15 was struck by a car and severely brain damaged and her case took years in the court system in an attempt to be granted "the right" to be the recipient of a large sum of winnings."

The Department of Community Services did, in part, provide funding so this disabled individual could live at home and be supported by her parents.  To my distaste, the provincial government claimed  the funds that were awarded by the courts after years of court battles. After lengthy courtroom events the disabled individual was given permission to utilize the funds to aid her "supported care" in the home of her aging parents.  The story of this individual compelled me to  speak out  in an attempt to demonstrate why this individual was in need of the funds that were gained ...... it would have seemed our gov. agency and courts lost sight of the fact that the parents of this young woman had given up their lives and dreams to keep their daughter at home for 15+ years.  Both parents had aged with a tremendous responsibility and commitment to their daughter's in-home care.  They had given up their retirement dreams and every element of their lives, together, had changed.

Without the devotion of two aging parents, Community Services were spared the costs of institutional

 living.  After months of debate, the young lady was permitted to assign her newly gained funds to her own care and remain under the roof of her parents. A good portion of the funding award was carefully invested

with the future of this disabled individual as her parents' energy and endurance was gradually dwindling and private care-providers were in need - an element that would enable parents to remain in their home with their needy daughter.

Moving On:  My dream provided me with the memory of my Brother-in-Law, Geoff, taking is wife, Melodie (my Twin) home from Nova Scotia to the province of British Columbia with the assistance of an eight-person aerovac medical armed-forces team.  Her story of becoming a quadriplegic days before their marriange was heart-breaking and too much to bare for many.  One did not dare think of this couples individual  futures --- indeed a dark picture. As the medical team began transferring Melodie from a bed to a stretcher in preparation for a flight across our country to British Columbia (to their new home).  Their progress was interrupted by a hospital official informing Geoff that the hospital bill was in the thousands and continued to ask how he would like to attend to this before leaving.  Geoff calmly, and with amazing reverence said, "sue me".  This story was my light to the fact that challenging the outrageous events of "our system" need not be a deterrent to one's dignity.  Geoff had taken de-escalated a potential major debate in the matter of two words powerful words/concept.

     His approach provided me with the picture that I would frequently reflect upon in later life .... his demeanor of a calm, decisive, respective clarity, when an issue of nonacceptance suddenly and unexpectedly issue surfaced spoke volumes for me.....a "yes" person.   He demonstrated that one must know one's self and stand solidly grounded  ... elements of an effective, strong advocate.   This section of my dream reflected I have learned, demonstrated, and presented as a responsible advocate on issues of the disabled community.

Melodie's strength to overcome the unimaginable obstacles of a quadriplegic over a period of 2+ decades was always a support in my advocacy for "supported independent living" and was very much alive and with great energy in my dream.  She and her husband led active social lives, furthered their personal educational studies and established themselves as productive individuals in their neighbourhood, community, province and country.

In my dream,  I saw myself engaged in motivational speaking to those of the disabled community.  Melodie's tragic experience was often the example of what my message on the subject of the right to self-determination in addition to supported individual living.

At one point in Melodie's life, she chose to exercise self-determination and attempted to leave life as we know it---she however reversed her decision after a conversation with her family physician who presented her with the options of life or death.  I, too, opted to "opt out" and like Melodie,  reversed my decision.  The dream served as a strong reminder that  I continue to support self-determination however have added the element of the responsibility of such a choice (to end life) be made only after the individual has informed family and loved ones of his/her intent.

As the dream came to a close, my life's view become more real and intense.  I found myself as a journalist in Kenya and at a time when a University was terrorized .... killing many.  That image, I suspect arose from strong feelings I felt watching the turmoil at that University.  It gave me the far sightedness to how many survivors would be facing the self-determination concept and a window to the numbers that would likely not be privileged to supported independent living with all the care and equipment required to reach ones potential to a quality life. In essence,  it was clear that rehabilitation was, for the most part, unavailable to this population.  The need for support and advocacy was so apparent and to this, I am devoted.

Upon awaking my plea for a "purpose" no longer occupies my thoughts as it is clear that advocacy prevails.  All that occurred in my dream with such clarity and memory was an epiphany to my path and purpose -- in the now and  future.

Quote from "Amazing Grace":  "I once was lost but now I am found.  I was blind but now I see"

(Artist, Melanie Elliott AKA Nightingale)